Head first
by Kassel Garibay
Summary: Peeta's brother, Danny, only has his name in once but he still manages to get chosen. What will Katniss do when she sees her boyfriend's brother walk up to his certain death? Cover Art not mine.
1. The Reaping

I am awake, but I refuse to open my eyes. The sooner I open my eyes the sooner I'll have to face the horrible day before me. The sooner I open my eyes the sooner I'll have look into my sister's eyes and lie to her, telling her it's going to be okay. I peek between my eyelashes to find her blue eyes staring at me. She must have woken up long ago, unable to sleep because of the terrible day ahead of us. I open my arms for her and she buries her face in my chest, hiding her blue eyes from my gaze. As I hold her I think of another blonde with deep blue eyes. Peeta, my boyfriend Peeta. I wonder how he is doing this morning. Did he wake up to a pair of frightened blue eyes too? I stroke Prim's hair as I think of Danny, Peeta's sweet little brother. It is his first reaping, just like Prim's.

"What if I get cho-" Prim begins to ask but I cover her mouth before she finishes. I can't think about that.

"You won't, your name is only there once Prim. It will be okay." I whisper in her hair, kissing it softly. Her hold tightens around me. I sing for her until she falls asleep. I untangle myself from her arms and sneak out of the bed. I change clothes quickly and take my boots, walking barefoot to the door, trying not to wake my mother. But it is useless.

"Where are you going?"

I sigh. "I'm going to check on Peeta and Danny." I answer without turning around to see her. I kneel down to tie my boots and once I do I turn around to find her looking at me with her eyes tired and her hair tangled. I sigh and walk up to her to kiss her hair. "I'll be back later." I say and leave without looking back.

I slept in for longer than I usually do. Gale and I hunted extra yesterday, so we wouldn't have to do it today. Instead of heading to the woods I head to Peeta's house. I suppose Gale is busy comforting his own brothers today.

The bakery is closed, I suppose Mr. Mellark isn't in the mood today, but still it smells like bread and it makes me feel at home. Since Peeta and I started dating I've slowly started to spend more time in the bakery than in my own house. Mr. Mellark looks up from the dough he is kneading and smiles sadly at me. "Morning, Katniss." I smile back at him. "Hey, how is Danny?"

"He's sleeping, I figured it was best if I let both of them sleep in today." He said shrugging.

"At least about Peeta we don't have to worry." I whisper, looking to the stairs and he nods.

"He is still asleep, but you can go upstairs if you want." He says, looking back at the dough. I thanked him and went upstairs, careful to avoid Peeta's mother. She was apparently the only one who disapproves our relationship. Well, her and Gale. My best friend still isn't too fond of Peeta, but I don't mind.

I don't knock into Peeta's room, I don't want to make noise in case he is still sleeping. I just let myself in and smile as I watch him. His hair is a mess, his blue eyes hidden behind those gorgeous eyelashes. I take off my hunting boots and slide myself in the bed beside him. I bury my face in his chest as Prim did with me and breathe in his scent. Immediately I feel safe and less worried, Peeta just has that effect on me. He soothes me.

After a while I'm so relaxed I think I could fall asleep, but he startles me as he closes his arms around me, pulling me closer, holding me against him. I smile. He must have woken up. I look up and his blue eyes are looking back into mine.

"If every time I slept in it meant I'd wake with you in my arms I'd do it more often." He murmured, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and I blush. We've dated a year and a half and still I cannot get used to him and his words.

"Morning, baker."

"Morning, hunter."

I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest again. He holds me and strokes my hair for a while before he asks.

"How's Prim?"

"Scared, but aren't we all?"

"Are you?"

"I'm terrified." I confess. He holds me tighter. "Me too." He whispers after a while.

We just hold each other for a while before I finally break the silence. "His name is only there once, Peeta. Danny will be fine."

I can feel him nodding and I pull away, his blue eyes are worried. "But how many times is yours in there? Twenty four?" Thirty. " Plus Prim's and Danny's? I have Twenty six reasons to worry, Katniss."Thirty two.

He is right, according to my own counts I am the girl with the most slips inside the bowl. I had never told Peeta, but when I was twelve I didn't have my name in four times, but five. Gale and I had made an agreement. We'd enter our names the same amount of times and I would give one of my portions of oil and grain to him, for his family. Why? So that when he was eighteen he'd still have one portion at least to help him a bit. And to lower his chances of going to the Games. But if I told Peeta I had willingly increased my chances of entering the Arena he'd kill me.

"Besides, you think I don't know what you'll do if Prim gets chosen?" He whispers and I look away. I'd volunteer and protect her. Giving up my life for hers. And I wouldn't even think twice about it.

"Her name is just in there once, Peeta. I promise she won't get chosen."

He sighs and holds me closer, kissing my hair. I let him soothe me, hiding how scared I am myself.

* * *

I walk back home with a warm loaf of bread under my arm. When I get home mom and Prim are sitting on the kitchen table, I see they've already tried to have breakfast. I fake a cheerful smile for my little sister and give her a piece of warm bread with strawberry jelly I did a week ago. I feel a bit better when I see her smile.

My mom has prepared the bath to me and I pretend to be happy about it. I clean myself and pretend to be okay with the dress my mom has decided that I wear. An expensive, delicate blue gown that feels exquisite against my skin. She insists on doing my hair and I let her. Prim watches and I wink an eye at her. She smiles softly, though I can see her hands are trembling. So when my mom is done I pull her into my arms and we walk embraced towards the reaping.

Prim spots her friends and walks to the zone where the 12 year old kids stand, very close to each other. Like little pigeons protecting themselves. I spot Prim smiling to a blonde boy I recognize as Danny, that means Peeta has to be somewhere around here. I look around until I spot him. He walks up to me and I hide the trembling in my hands as I hug him.

"Just this once, Katniss. Just one more reaping and you are done with it." He whispers and I nod. I'm eighteen, my name is only there thirty times. I can do it. I stand on my tiptoes and I kiss him, something I rarely do on public. But today it is worth it. He kisses me back and smiles to me before leaving. I watch him walk to his father. He is 19 and free. And next year I'll be there with him.

I start walking to the 18 year old girls but a pair of strong arms stop me. Even without turning around I know it is Gale. He smiles at me and I hug him shortly, but tightly.

"You okay, Catnip?" He asks, worried. I nod.

"How are your kids?" I ask and he chuckles, I know he doesn't have kids. But we often talk about our siblings as if they were.

"Scared, how are yours?"

"Same, though I have only one."

"Peeta and Danny are your kids too." He says, and the humorous tone of our previous conversation is gone. He seems to notice I am not in the humor for arguing about my love choices so he smiles again and says.

"By the way, I almost forgot. Happy Hunger Games!" He says in a fake cheerful voice, I can't help but to smile.

"And may the odds be _ever_ in your favor."

* * *

Hours later when I try to remember the reaping it is all a blur to me. I remember Effie and the Mayor giving their respective speeches, not necessarily in that order. I remember my heart racing as Effie walked to the girl's bowl after her cheerful "Ladies first!"

"Please not her." I whisper as I watch intently Effie's hand swimming around in the paper slips. I hate her, I hate her for making it last, for stretching my pain and worry.

"Mary Smith!" I contain my sigh of relief, I see Prim's position relaxing and I turn around to find Peeta staring at me, it is impossible not to notice the relief in his eyes. The same relief I find in Gale's when I spot him next to his mother. I watch the poor fourteen year old walk up to the stage and silently thank her for saving me and my sister. I am so relieved that the next few sentences go unnoticed and I don't realize Effie has chosen a boy slip until it is too late.

"Daniel Mellark!" She says cheerfully, and the name of my young, sweet, innocent boyfriend's brother echoes around the square. I hear Peeta's and Mr. Mellark's strangled cry and I can't make myself look at them. I can only watch the small copy of the man I love walk hesitantly to the stage. He looks so tiny, beside Effie in her enormous high heels and I notice the tears stinging in my eyes. But what can I do? The rules are the rules and I can't do anything to avoid him going to the Games.

I look back, and spot Peeta who is holding his dad and holding back tears. I see before my eyes how the next weeks will be. I can see Peeta slowly falling apart, feeding his hope of seeing his small brother again. But I know he won't. What chances does he have against the careers? A gentle, innocent twelve year old?

I hear Effie calling out for volunteers for Mary and before I know what I'm doing I throw myself head first into the Arena.

"I volunteer!"


	2. The Goodbyes

"No!" Is it Peeta's voice or Gale's? I don't know, but a part of me tells me it might be both's. I feel every single person in District 12 watching me as I make my way to the stage. I can almost feel the Capitol eyes on me through the cameras, all of them wondering why I volunteered at the last second. The girl who quickly made her way down the stairs and into her mother's arms and I don't even share a last name. I doubted I had ever seen her in my life. I try not to look back but when I do, I see Mr. Mellark holding Peeta, as if comforting him. But to me it seems as if he was holding him back, preventing him from running towards me. When I find Gale I see Hazelle holding him just the same. With every step I take towards the stage, and my death, I see flashes of my life before my eyes: My father's smile that last morning before he left to the mine where he was blown to pieces, my sister dancing in the meadow, Gale teasing me as we hunted on Sundays, Peeta's stolen kiss the night he told me he loved me... I see the life I won't have, a life with Peeta, kissing him goodnight every night, waking up beside him every morning, watching Prim grow into a beautiful woman. Because as I walk upstairs I know I've made my choice. I'm getting Danny out of the Arena alive, even if that means I'll return home in a coffin.  
"Well, well well. Look what we have here, a volunteer!" How can Effie be so cheerful? Oblivious to the tension around the square? "What's your name, darling?"  
"My name is Katniss Everdeen." I say, and I am surprised as my voice sounds steady and sure.  
"Well Katniss Everdeen, Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever _in your favor. Come on, District Twelve! Let's give young Katniss a hand!" But no one claps. Still my eyes almost get filled with tears as the mother of the kid whose place I've just taken places the three fingers of her left hands to her lips and presses them outward in a silent salute. Slowly the entire district mimics them and I nod, holding back tears.  
"Shake hands Tributes!"I finally allow myself to look at Danny, who has slowly become like a brother to me. I look into his eyes that are filled with tears and I step closer to him, he raises a hand as if to shake mine, but I pull him into my arms protectively and kiss his hair. "It's okay, I'll take care of you." I whisper.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Gale screams as he storms into the room where I am hold to say my goodbyes. I open my mouth to say something but nothing goes out, he just walks up to me and pulls me into a tight embrace. "Take care of them, Gale. Don't let them starve." I whisper into his neck. He nods and pulls back to look into my eyes. "You can do this, Katniss. You can win this thing."  
"Gale, I don't _want_ to win this thing. I want to bring Danny back home..."  
"That's bullshit, Katniss! Plain bullshit! No one asked you to do this, the kid won't even survive the bloodbath!"  
Before I know what I'm doing I've slapped Gale and he has a red mark in his cheek. He looks at me confused and hurt, before I can apologize a pair of peacekeepers are pulling him out of the room and the last thing I hear is Gale's voice saying "Katniss I...!" But the door closes and I will never know what he wanted to say.  
Madge comes in next, and she helps me to calm down. She just sits beside me on the couch and before she leaves she sets a Mockinjay pin in my lap, I've seen her use it before. I know it is pure gold and really important to her, I try to protest but she shakes her head. "Promise me you'll wear it in the arena." I nod, unable to say anything. She smiles, presses a kiss to my cheek and leaves before whispering "I'll miss you."  
I'll miss you too Madge.  
Mr. Mellark hesitates in the doorway before walking in. I've never seen him show any kind of affection, but still I am completely sure he loves his sons. So I am completely surprised when he pulls me into his arms, and I find myself missing my father as I never had before. Still I fight back the tears, the cameras are waiting for me and I won't give them the slightest reason to think I am not a threat.  
When he pulls away he looks straight into my eyes. "In this games I will either lose a son or a daughter." I open my mouth, but the lump in my throat makes it impossible for me to speak. After a while he is called to leave. "Take care of Peeta!" I manage to yell before he is taken away.

I know there are three more people I'll have to face before I'm taken to the train and towards my grave. I take a deep breath as I brace myself, I know the following goodbyes will be the hardest. The doorknob moves and before I can look up Prim is already sobbing in my arms. I kiss her hair and try and soothe her. My mom sits next to me and pulls both of us into a hug. For the first time in years I don't push her away.  
"It will be okay, Prim. Gale will bring you meat, Peeta will give you bread and Danny will be back before you know it."  
She starts crying again and I manage to kiss her tears away before they are pulled out of the room. I bury my face in my hands trying my best not to cry, but it is hard, because I know I will never see them again.

The dooropens and I can't make myself look up, but even without doing so I recognize Peeta's footsteps walking towards me. He pulls down my hands and I look into his blue eyes. Is it my imagination or has he been crying? He probably comes from saying goodbye to Danny.  
"Katniss Everdeen, how could you?" He says and his voice breaks, suddenly I find myself wishing he had yelled at me, like Gale.  
"I'm going to bring back your brother, Peeta I swear I am..." I whisper, holding back tears the best I can.  
"I know you are." He says, and I see into his eyes that he believes me. But he is already picturing himself at my funeral. "Why are you making me choose? How can you leave me like this?" He asks and a tear falls down his cheek.  
"Peeta..." I choke out but he just shakes his head.  
"We don't have much time. Katniss, I love you. You are brave and beautiful, and perfect and I wish I was doing this differently but you are giving me no choice..." He places a box in my hands and opens it, revealing a modest yet beautiful engagement ring. "I was going to ask you after the reaping but..." He pulls it out looking up into my eyes. I don't know how I manage not to cry, but I do it. "Marry me, Katniss. Right here, right now. Who cares about the paperwork? Say you are my wife." He begs and I nod.  
"I am Peeta, I am." I manage to mutter before I kiss him passionately, as I've never kissed him before and he barely has time to slide the ring on my finger before he is pulled away. I am able to yell "I love you!" before the door closes between us.

I'm reunited with Danny, his eyes are puffy and there are still fresh tears in his cheeks. I wipe them away and the cameras follow us into the train. Effie talks about how lucky we are and the big honor it is to be a Tribute, but instead of shutting her up as I want to I keep an arm protectively around Danny and do my best to keep my face unreadable. I want all Panem to wonder what is in my mind. They won't see me cry. I'm Katniss Everdeen and I am not afraid of dying.


	3. The Mentor

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you so much for the support guys! I am off to do some homework but if I am done early I'll try to post another chapter today! Keep up the reviews, I love them as much as I love you (: **

Is it my imagination or does Effie seems to look at Danny with worried eyes? It must be impossible, she is a Capitol citizen, and as far as I'm concerned they are unrelated to any kind of emotion. "Maybe you should take him to his room." I nod and follow her through the train, looking around in awe to the luxury that surrounds us. I have never seen such exquisite furniture, but I suppose that after the Games I will never see any kind of furniture again, whatever it is that awaits for us in the Arena will be my last dwelling.  
I am surprised by the size of the bed that awaits us inside of Danny's bedroom. Effie leaves us alone and I take Danny to the mattress, sitting him in my lap, pulling off his shoes and letting him cry against my neck. I stroke his hair and back wishing someone was waiting for me at my own room to do the same. I am scared too, and I also feel like sobbing but I know I have to be strong for Danny. }  
After a while his sobbing is slowly replaced by a soft hiccup and he pulls away to look at me. "Thank you." He whispers.  
I smile softly and wipe away his tears. "No problem, Danny. It's okay."  
"No it is not!" He said, and he was suddenly older. Not the twelve year old I had taken camping on his birthday, not the kid that laughed as Peeta and I tickled him. "You are going to the Games and it is my fault! Even if I... even if I go back, Peeta will never forgive me."  
I frown and shake my head. "Danny, your brother loves you more than anything in the world. This is not your fault, you didn't chose to come here. You didn't force me into volunteering. I did it because I love you... and I love your brother." I say, doing my best to prevent my voice from cracking.  
"You should sleep a bit, Danny." I say after a while, I tuck him into the bed and he looks up at me. Something tells me it won't be that easy for him to fall asleep, so I lay over the blankets beside him and start singing softly. The same song I sang for Prim that morning. He falls asleep and as I kiss his hair a single tears falls into it as I am reminded I will never sing for my sister again.  
I stand up from the bed carefully, and leave the bedroom, closing the door behind him softly. All efforts to keep it quiet are almost shattered as my now mentor, former Victor, Haymitch Abernathy surprises me in the hallway. His presence is definitely something I wasn't expecting and I jump, he chuckles and points to the living room with his glass. "You and I have a lot of things to talk about, sweetheart. And you don't want to wait until dinner." I nod and follow him. The brownish liquid in his glass moves with his and the train's movement, even before the scent strikes me I know it is alcohol. Peeta's mom often walks with a similar glass on her hand, and Haymitch's love for the booze isn't a secret to anyone in Panem.

We sit down in the couches, he sits on one with space for three but manages to occupy them all. He sips and I sit down in an individual couch in front of him. Only when I look around I notice we are not alone. A couple of women looks at us without really watching. Haymitch must have seen my confusion because he clears it. "Avoxes, our servants." I nod and look beside me to a table where a jar is, it is filled with fresh cold water and I stand up to pour a glass. The Avoxes don't move but I feel Haymitch's eyes on me as I drown the whole glass in one gulp and I pour water again. One I'm sitting in front of him again he clears his throat.  
"Now speak."  
"What do you want me to say?"  
"It is obvious you are not like District 2 careers: eager to go to the Games, kill some kids and that. You have other reasons for volunteering, the kid whose place you've taken isn't your familiar nor your friend. And you and the other kid seem pretty close. Spill."  
I sigh. I don't feel like talking about it with Haymitch, but I must. He managed to get out of the Arena alive, and he has to be the one to help me to bring Danny back.  
"He is my boyfriend's little brother." I say.  
"The baker's kid?"  
"Yes, Peeta. I love Danny like a brother, and I couldn't bear to see him walk to his death. So I figured that if I went I could protect him. I could make sure he'd win."  
"You'd make sure you'd lose." He corrects and I open my mouth as if to correct him, but I know he is right, so I just close it and nod. He sighs and leans back.  
"Look sweetheart, I can only bring one tribute home each time. I'm forced to choose every single year and it is hard. I have to choose the one that has the most possibilities of winning and focus all my strength to bring him back." His voice is low and suddenly I gain respect for the man before me. I imagine what would it be like to have to choose between two kids who both have confidence in you to save them, only to watch them both die year after year. "This year it might be different though, if you want to bring him home too."  
"I do." I say and he nods.  
"He is twelve years old, and he is basically dead. You and I both know he can't kill anyone, you'll have to do the dirty job for him." I hesitate but I end up nodding.  
"Okay, you are dismissed. Get out so I can think and get drunk in peace." I nod again and stand up, taking my glass of water with me. When I am almost out of the room he calls my name and I turn to see him.  
"What if you are the last two?"  
The possibility strikes me and I found myself dreading it. But still, I know it is the most possible scenario if I want him to go back.  
"Yeah, that's what I thought." He says and I walk towards my room, hiding inside of it.

* * *

I explore my quarters and find that the drawers are filled with clothes. I find what seems like a comfortable outfit and decide to take a shower to clear my thoughts. I quickly give up on that idea as the shower gives me a headache as I try to figure out how it works. All those buttons and colors are impossible for me to decipher. So I just change my clothes and I wash my face, looking at my own reflection in the mirror. I tell myself that if I am going to cry that is the moment. But no tears come out.  
An hour or so later Effie knocks on my door calling me for dinner, I suppose Danny is still sleeping, but I decide to awake him so he can eat something. He needs food and strength for what is about to follow. So I shake him lightly and tell him to get ready to eat. I wait for him with Effie in the dining room, Haymitch is nowhere on sight but that somehow doesn't surprises me, or her.  
Danny enters the room and sits down next to me. The Avoxes come in with the food and they set a bowl of soup in front of each one of us. I am surprised by the quantity and the delicious scent it has, I start eating and my stomach is filled with a warm liquid that makes me feel much better. I try not to eat too fast but still I am the first one to finish. Effie watches us silently and she ends up noticing the ring in my left hand. "You didn't have that at the reaping."  
I shake my head and swallow the lump in my throat, I take a sip of water to gain some time. I can feel Danny's eyes piercing in my back.  
"I got unexpectedly engaged." I whisper, and the look in Effie's eyes is almost sad enough to break my heart. But I doubt it can ever be broken again.  
We finish the dinner in silence and we leave to the tv room to watch the reruns of the reapings. Haymitch was right about District 2 and 1. The Careers fight to decide who gets the honor of going to the Games, it makes me sick. Though it might have something to do with the fact that I've eaten more on that last hour than I have in a week for sure. Both the guy from two and from eleven are mountains. The girl from one is so beautiful I know she must already have a million sponsors, and an innocent girl from eleven cries as she is escorted to the train. She can't be older than Danny.  
Effie turns off the tv and I walk Danny back to his room. He asks me to sing again and I do, only because I cannot stand to see him suffer. I only leave when I'm completely sure he is asleep. And when I'm laying on the bed and the District I've always called home gets further away every second I finally start crying.


	4. The Plan

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you so much for the support! I apologize deeply for the next chapter, it might suck a bit. Please be patient with me! Keep up the reviews, I love them as much as I love you (: **

I wasn't able to fall asleep until very late, but I am relieved as I peek between my eyelashes and I see that I've survived the night. I was too tired from all the crying that I didn't dream anything at all, which is good; I doubt I'll be able to sleep much in the arena. Still before I had opened my eyes I had found myself wishing that once I did open them it would be all be a nightmare and I would still be at home, Danny safe and sound. But it wasn't.

I decide to give the shower a second chance, so I find myself naked outside of it pressing random buttons until I manage to get the water to run in a decent pressure and temperature. It is all peace and tranquility until I find myself attacked by several creams while I try to get my hair cleaned. When I am finally dry I walk back to my room and get dressed with the same clothes I wore yesterday, they are still clean and they are comfortable. When I look at myself in the mirror I see no evidence of the girl that woke up yesterday's morning in her bed at the Seam. That girl is gone, Peeta is a widower already. I turn my back to the stranger's reflection.

I walk to the dining room where I find Effie glaring at Haymitch, who focuses all his attention in spreading butter over a loaf of bread, still I can see he is trying not to smirk. Danny has that nervous expression he showed whenever his mother yelled at Peeta or Mr. Mellark. They all seem to relax when I walk in, which gives me the feeling that they were discussing something about me.

"Morning." I mutter sitting next to Danny after setting a kiss on his blonde hair, it takes me back to those Saturday mornings when I went to have breakfast with them. But Peeta isn't waiting for me to sit so he can hold my hand under the table... "Morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?" Haymitch asks and I shrug, starting to eat. Effie clears her throat and she isn't content until we all turn around to see her, she smiles. "We'll be arriving in a few hours. You will go with your stylists to get ready for the Tribute parade. Katniss dear, you are up very late so I must apologize for not waiting until you are done." I fake a smile and she nods, leaving to do God knows what.

Haymitch is noticeably happy when she leaves, because he sits back. "Okay, so you already know me. And the boy here does too. Now, rules: You don't mess up with me and I'll help you. Whatever I say is whatever you have to do, you hear me?" Danny nods and I do too. Suddenly I find myself hoping he won't be so stupid to talk about my plan in front of Danny. I know he must already suspect it. Because only one of us will get out and he knows I'm not planning it to be me, but still I don't think he will take it very well if we discuss my death over the breakfast table. Still, Haymitch surprises me skipping that part.

"You must never underestimate the way the public sees you, cameras are going to be everywhere from this moment and on. You have to be careful on what is your expression. You have to get people to like... no, scratch that, to _love_ you. You are going to go to your stylists and accept whatever it is that they say, no 'but's no 'if's no nothing. And you are going to smile and pretend you are enjoying the Parade. You think you'll manage to survive for that long?" We both nod again and he sits back, pulling out a decanter and taking a sip. I wrinkle my nose. "Now kid, go to your room while sweetheart here and me have a grown up talk."

I can tell Danny is about to protest but I stop him, "Just go, Danny. I'll be with you in a minute." He glares at me, I know how much he hates to be shooed away because he is young. But whatever it is I know I don't want him to hear. He leaves and I turn to Haymitch.

"Sweetheart I hope you realize the kind of game you are getting into. You saw the reruns, didn't you? If you were a career from two and you saw Danny what would you think?"

I swallow. "An easy kill..." I whisper, and he nods. That was what he was expecting.

"However, there is this girl who volunteers and seems willing to protect the kid with her life. The same girl who didn't cry or show any emotion as she walked to her death. The tributes must be wondering by now how much of a threat you are. But we don't care about their opinion, we care about the Capitol's. Kid you need to make them fall in love with you."

"I don't know how to do that!" I say defensively. "I know how to keep my emotions under control, I did it because I don't want the careers to think I'm not a threat. I need to scare them enough to get out of the bloodbath and then I'll manage to survive..."

"Until they kill off each other and only the best remain?" He questions me, interrupting me. I glare at him because I know he is right. "You did well not to cry on the stage. But now you smile and pretend you love the Capitol. And you have to be excellent, not good, nor great, in your individual trials. And in the interview you get people to fall for you and your tragic story so they'll support you and the kid."

"You want me to tell them I have no intention of getting out?" I manage to breathe out after some minutes of silence.

"I want you to tell them how much you love the baker's son, how you couldn't stand the idea of watching him suffer so you volunteered to protect his brother, how you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if Danny doesn't get out, how you rather die than leaving the baker without his brother. The Capitol people are suckers for a good story, this is all they want sweetheart, a good show. Give it to them." He says and I stand up, because I know he is right but at the same time I can't stand the idea of exposing my deepest feelings to the monsters in the Capitol. But I know it is the best chance I get to save Danny. So I walk to my room and slam the door, allowing myself to break down again.

* * *

Danny and I are watching through the windows of the train, the landscape escapes too quickly from our gaze, making it impossible to play "I Spy" but we enjoying watching the outside. But after a while the landscape changes, and we find ourselves inside the capitol. The colors, the people, it all seems ridiculously colorful to me, so I look away and find Danny staring at me.

"I know what you are planning." He says quietly and I sigh.

"Danny I don't know if I want to have this conversation..."

"You know what is going to happen if I win, Peeta won't be able to look at me without thinking I'm only alive because you are dead." I open my mouth to protest but he doesn't let me, instead he continues. "And I'll think the same whenever I see myself in the mirror."

"Danny no one asked me to do this, I love you. I chose this." I say looking into his eyes, talking firmly.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything, Danny."

"If I die, you have to win. Peeta can't lose both of us." I nod and he goes back to observing the Capitol. I observe him instead, the boy that grew up in just a few hours. It breaks my heart so I play with my ring and await for the moment in which Effie will tell us my first and last train ride has come to an end.


	5. The Girl on Fire

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry I didn't upload a new chapter for the past few days, I got caught up with other stuff. I hope you are enjoying the story, please review I want to hear your thoughts!**

I feel terrible for not being able to remember their names, but they seem to have no problem with that, in fact they wouldn't even give me time to speak. My preparation team talked and talked, and they shot questions to me without giving me time to reply, which was good. If Capitol people were like this maybe they weren't that bad at all, just a little foolish and talkative.

My ears are buzzing now, I'm tired of noise so I am relieved when my preparation team leaves, they've shaved practically all my body, they erased my face to paint it all over again with soft make up, and when I watch myself in the mirror I see I am still myself, just prettier. I wonder what Peeta will think when he sees me like this, or Gale. I shake those thoughts off my mind, I need to focus on what I am about to do. I've realized that when I think too much off the Games and what awaits for me there I get anxious. So I decide to take only baby steps, focus on the immediate thing I have to do. Right now I need to calm down, and wait for my stylist to show up. Will his or her hair be blue? Maybe their skin will be green, like one of the women that were part of my prep team. I entertain myself thinking about what he will be like while I wait for him to show up.

I am surprised as a very normal man walks up to me. "Katniss, I'm Cinna, your stylist. I must say it will be an honor to work with you." I cannot help but to smile, he seems good, and mostly normal. The only thing that do catches my eye is a soft line of golden eyeliner that suits him very well. I nod and he invites me to walk into the next room. "I believe lunch would be a good idea, don't you?" He asks gently, his voice is soft and comforting. I trust him immediately, standing up and following him.

"So, Katniss, how are you?" He asks, and for the first time since I've arrived the Capitol, someone seems concerned about me. They've asked that question many times to me today, but I know that they expect me to answer things like "I'm perfect! Can't wait for the arena." or "I'm so excited! I want to go kill children now." But Cinna's soft voice and eyes tell me that he knows it a cruelty, he doesn't congratulate me for being here like everyone else. It seems like Cinna sees the Games as they truly are, instead of seeing them as just another tv show. "I'm calm." I say after a while and he nods.

We sit at a living room and Cinna presses a button, a plate appears in the table along with plates and glasses for us two, it seems to be some sort of pasta and beef, but I am completely amazed. Sure, since I got into the train I've eaten much more than the past 18 years of my life. But to press a button and get the food magically appear? At least on the train I had to wait for other people to bring it, which gave me the sensation that food was someone's work. But here it seems to be just a luxury more. Do kids think about if they want a diamond ring or an apple? Is it the same thing for them? Have they ever been hungry? I know what is like not to eat for weeks, to live off water and a bunch of roots trying to leave all food for my mom and sister, but now I am assured the Capitol people are alien to the concept of being hungry.

"How despicable we must seem to you." He says, probably noticing my expression. I choose to ignore it, because they are all despicable to me. Except him, probably. And my preparation team, because no one can hate such adorable idiots. So I just let him serve me food and thank him silently, I wait until he starts eating to do so myself.

"You are new, aren't you. I've never seen you before." I say after a while and he nods, his manners resemble Effie's, he is a perfect gentleman, but he doesn't frown at me when I accidentally wipe my hands on my robe."So they gave you District 12." I say, not really asking. It is obvious that 12 isn't the first choice, of anyone. 74 years have passed and we've had two Victors, one of them is an old drunk. Which is why Cinna surprises me by saying. "I asked for District 12."I see he notices the look in my eyes, he knows I wonder why. But either he doesn't feel like sharing or he doesn't trust me because we stop talking about that.

"The prep team gave me this." He says and looks in the pockets of his pants, handing back to me the Mockingjay pin and Peeta's ring. I sigh relieved and slide the ring in my left hand, feeling the now familiar and reassuring weight on it. "It is beautiful, who gave it to you?" He asks softly. "Danny's brother... my boyfriend." I reply in a whisper, hoping that like that my voice wouldn't break. "He proposed to me when he came in to say goodbye." Cinna looks completely astounded. And he seems not to know what to say.

"That is why you volunteered, to save the boy." He says after a while and I nod. "You are the bravest person I've ever known, Katniss Everdeen. It is an honor to work with you."

* * *

A few hours later I'm wearing what it seems to be a full body black suit. But even without the final touch Cinna keeps talking about it looks absolutely gorgeous. It makes me look dangerous, and sexy. Which is probably appealing for the Capitol. They've left my hair in a braid, and the make up is minimal. Cinna wants them to be able to recognize me once I enter the Arena. Danny seems nervous, but also a little excited. I keep reminding myself that everything is new for him, but that he has a chance to see it again. And if everything goes as I plan it he will have to come back every year, to mentor the other kids. But he will be alive, Peeta won't lose all of his family of a sudden.

Danny and I are both wearing crowns, as if we had already crowned ourselves Victors. And moments later Cinna shows up with what is the final touch: fire. He claims that it isn't real fire, and that we are completely safe. He will light our capes and our crowns, giving the sensation that we are coal, which is the main product of District twelve. It will be a big hit. Still, I'm terrified that all my efforts to keep Danny alive might be in vain after this fashion madness.

The Parade starts, and we can see it in the tv while we wait. All the tributes are smiling, proud to be there. They look all dangerous and terrifying, and I have the urge to pick Danny and run away. But we can't. So instead we wait for our turn and when it comes Cinna lights us. It is a funny sensation, to be burnt alive, it tingle but it doesn't hurt. But before I can thank Cinna for it the chariot moves and we are launched into the city center. Suddenly I can no longer listen to my own thoughts, the crowd cheers our names so loudly I can't listen to anything else. When I get a glance of us in the screens I can see why, there is no way you can look away from us. We are District 12 and we are on fire. Suddenly I feel Danny's hand on mine and I raise it to my lips to comfort him. The crowd goes insane, and in the next screen I can see my ring is visible. I hope Peeta can see how much I love him.

Even the tributes from another districts are completely turned to see us, we blow kisses to the crowd and pretend to catch theirs. Until we come to a stop, but the fire doesn't die down, and I can see they all have a hard time ignoring us to pay attention to President Snow. Is it me or his snakelike eyes are stuck on us too? I try to stare back at him, but I'm unable to. He wishes us all Happy Hunger Games and we start our last turn before we disappear. The crowd cheers us again and even after the door is closed behind us I can still hear our names. Effie and Cinna congratulates us, Haymitch gives me a nod. But I'm more interested in the looks the other tributes are shooting at us. They hate us, and I know it, we've stolen the attention that belongs to Careers. I pull Danny behind me and look back at them. I dare them to hold my gaze, but even the large boy from 2 looks away after a while. We walk away and I can't suppress a smile. They _fear_ me: Katniss, the girl on fire.


End file.
